Happy Saturday, Friends!
I hope you've enjoyed a few days of recuperating from your busy lives with the aid of gluttonous amounts of food, drinking before noon, and sleeping until it's time to eat/drink again. I've napped more this weekend than I did my entire preschool career, which is pretty impressive. I think I've played more games of euchre this weekend, drank more cranberry margaritas, and ate more different kinds of "hey I killed this" game meat than ever before, and I couldn't be happier.
Before we jump back into Tuckermania, I have two very big favors to ask of you. First, could ya pop on over to our Facebook page and give us a "like"? Second, a few loyal Tucker fans have put the bug in Ellen's ear about our little blog, and her people want to know more! We'd love to tell the Tucker story on Ellen - and I know you want to see all your favorite Tucker characters, live and in the flesh, in the same room for the first time ever, AMIRITE? In order for this to happen, we've got to make a little noise - go pay Ellen's site a visit, and use her "Send Ellen an E-mail Form" (just click here), to tell her about the Tucker story. Describe the blog however you like, just make sure to include the blog address so she can come check it out for herself! Andy is her right-hand-email-reading-man, so feel free to address the both of them when you write. Thanks in advance for your help - YOU guys are the reason I'm still in sweatpants, writing this post right now. Love you long time.
WHEW. Okay, back to business.
I know it's been a few days, so let's recap a little, shall we? When we last chatted, I'd e-mailed Blake - the "face of Tucker" - a few times on Facebook. I knew he'd read my messages, since he'd accepted my friend request, then promptly deleted me (?!) like a real d-bag. I was frustrated that he couldn't be bothered to respond to this monumental hunk of information I'd presented him with, and was about to write him off completely when I received a response in my inbox. He questioned the validity of my claim - inquiring if what I said was real, or if it was a scam.
When I first received this message, I was flabbergasted. A scam?! Why the hell would I make this up? What on EARTH could I stand to gain by pretending someone was pretending to be Blake but also pretending to have Tucker's name. My head hurt just trying to understand where this guy was coming from. Who does he think he is, accusing me of lying about this? I actually felt insulted - this had become such a huge part of my life over the last month and a half, and this guy waltzes in, and has the audacity to suggest I might be bluffing. RUDE. As I was concocting a trite response to this outlandish accusation, I realized that maybe Blake had a point. We've all seen those Facebook posts claiming "OMG IS THIS YOU?!" with a link attached that opens a terrible virus on your computer and posts pictures of naked women and the world's largest zit all over FB. I suppose he was somewhat justified in not believing me - especially when I remembered just how insane the story sounded. I had a quick attitude adjustment, and responded to Blake's message, hoping to calm his nerves and remove his suspicions.
"Hey Blake...it's real. Trust me I wish it wasn't, but it is 100%. I know it sounds crazy, because it is. If it was a scam, I couldn't tell you that Hannah Johnson was behind the whole thing...pretending to be you for at least two years, maybe longer. She used your photos and everything about your life....I have recordings of you singing on my phone that she sent to me. She used another guy's name, but the rest is all you. I know it's insane...i know. The only reason I tracked you down is because I thought you should know your face was all over the internet and someone was using your likeness to have relationships with girls."
Blake responded quickly, still clearly tentative about believing the absurdities he was reading. He questioned everything - asking for names, phone numbers, internet links. He asked me to give him a rundown of the story (again!?), and I obliged, understanding he was walking into this for the very first time, and was certainly just as confused and bewildered as I'd been as the tale was unfolding. I grew frustrated with the never ending interrogation, but patiently answered question after I'm-about-to-lose-it question. I had to admit how I'd found Blake in the first place, revealing my unbelievable creepy ability to stalk out just about anyone on Facebook, and probably nearly destroying my chance of ever talking to this man again, but I couldn't let him walk away NOT believing this was real. I laboriously waded through the murky details of how I found Tucker, how he was connected to Hannah, how I knew Hannah was connected to Blake, and how on earth I ever stumbled across her in the first place. It was almost painstaking to rehash every single detail of the story, but question by question I responded as best I could, determined to make Blake a believer.
Blake and I went back and forth via Facebook messages for about an hour - he'd ask questions, I'd give answers. I was beginning to think he'd never believe me - and who could blame him? Suddenly, a phone number appeared in my inbox, with an invitation to give him a call. I wasn't sure what I'd said to finally convince him I was being truthful, but there it was.
You'd think, by now, I'd be fairly used to dialing up a complete stranger and talking to them about this story. I'd done it with Megan, with Tucker, and even with Hannah - why should Blake be any different? I was unexplainably paralyzed - I couldn't get my brain and my fingers to coordinate and press "call" button. I felt that all-too-familiar stomach drop go into effect as I stared at the ten digits before me. What would I say to him? I'd already explained the ENTIRE story in greuling detail - what else did we have left to discuss? Should I tell him about the blog that I'd already started to write? Would he be furious that, on top of the fact that his face was all over the interwebs already, I was writing about it and airing my (/our) dirty laundry to the entire cyber universe? Would he simply ask for some more details to satisfy his curiosity, then never speak to me again? My brain was racked with questions and hesitations - and I knew they all boiled down to one thing.
The moment I found out Hannah was..well..Hannah, one of my first initial thoughts was that my dream man was suddenly thrust back into the realm of possibility. While I didn't know exactly how much of the profile that had caught my attention was true, I now knew "Tucker" (/Blake) existed somewhere, and he wasn't a goddamn lunatic. Now, as I sat in my car unable to press "send", I stared at the phone number in front of me and realized why I was so unable to function. For the first time, I would hear Tucker's voice. I would speak to him, voice-to-voice, not in a text message or Facebook chat, but as close to "in person" as I'd ever been. I was about to have a verbal conversation with the person I, on whatever level, fell head over heels for all those weeks ago. This number was my DaVinci Code that I'd worked so hard and so long to find. I never expected this would be the outcome when I sent that OkCupid message so long ago, and it terrified me to break through the very barrier that told me something was very wrong from the beginning.
A whole new slew of questions erupted in my mind as I sat there, trying to work up the courage to call Blake. How would I feel when I heard his voice? Would he think I was crazy, weird, or stupid because of my role in this whole process? Would he want to know me, after all of this? Would he be on my side, or would he defend Hannah like Tucker seemed to? Would he be angry, confused, scared, or some weird hybrid like I had been? Would he blame me, and be angry with me for putting him in the midst of this situation?
I sat there, shivering, giving myself a pep talk and rallying by myself in the car. I could do this - I just needed to leave my emotions at home, and go into this 100% business. I needed to tell Blake the details, and leave it at that. I needed to be there to answer his questions, to talk to him through all the confusion, and to help him however he decided to proceed. I needed to be purely objective, a resource, a teammate. I picked up my phone, and pressed the green button, then waited anxiously as the ringing purred in my ear.
When Blake answered the phone, my heart stopped beating. Only for a moment, sure - but it stopped. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel that rush of emotion coming back, even though I'd been so determined to leave it behind. I'm certain I sounded like a bumbling fool for the first few minutes of our chat, and to be honest, I can't even remember what was said. From what I remember of this conversation, it consisted mainly of the same disbelief that was shared between myself and Megan, and Tucker as well. It was the same rehashing of events, swapping "oh my gods" and "you've got to be kiddings", and trying to figure out exactly what to do next.
The thing I remember most about this conversation, was how quickly I felt entirely at ease talking to Blake. He listened patiently, asked questions, and shared in my conglomeration of feelings toward Hannah and the situation as a whole. He offered a very different perspective, sharing that he'd only met Hannah a few times - certainly NOT the "big brother" and "close family friend" she'd portrayed him to be. He was close to her sister and brother in law, and seemed to be absolutely blindsided by the situation. I felt for him. For the first time, I forgot how hurt I'd been by the situation, and felt utterly horrible for Blake's unbeknownst role in this unfolding tale. I realized that, while I'd been lied to for a few months, Blake had been paraded around as a dreamboat, perfect man, to who knows how many people across the country. I couldn't imagine the feelings he was experiencing, and immediately knew every second I agonized over trying to find him was worth it. He needed to know this was happening - he needed to be able to stop it - he was the only person that had the power to do so.
Our conversation lasted about fifteen minutes, and we both went our separate ways to further mull over the words we'd just exchanged. I felt relieved - so glad I'd finally been able to share the story with the one person who most needed to be aware of the situation. I felt anxious - eagerly anticipating Blake's next move, and curious as to exactly how he would choose to handle the situation. Perhaps most strangely, though, I felt empty. Now, finally, Tucker was over. He was gone. It was done. I'd spent two months searching, digging, and investigating. What was there left to do now? I had come to the end of my part of this journey - the rest was in the hands of someone I barely knew. Aside from offering descriptions to whomever Blake decided to talk to, my role here was finished. I also felt like I'd said goodbye to someone very important in my life.
I can't describe the feelings I had about Blake that day. I was relieved that he was sweet, light hearted, and calm about the situation. I was so glad he believed my story, and seemed willing to do whatever it took to make sure it didn't happen again, and that Hannah was confronted for what she did. He was easy to talk to, made me laugh in light of a terrible situation, and was genuinely grateful for my amateur CSI work in solving this mystery and tracking him down. I still was unsure what came next - would I ever hear from him again? Was the situation far too strange to allow a relationship to ever blossom with my perfect stranger?
I got home that night, and decided to try my hand at a Facebook friendship with Blake again, ya know, now that he knew I wasn't a raging psychopath trying to infiltrate his Facebook page with porn viruses. It didn't take him long to accept my friend request this time. Of course, immediately upon receiving the notification, I made a beeline for his profile to fully get my stalk on.
I was, per usual these days, that too-familiar blend of nervous, excited, and on the verge of throwing up as I ventured to my future husband's page.
That sweet, crooked smile grinned at me from his profile picture, and I felt those butterflies rushing back - the same butterflies I'd felt when I first saw that smile on OkCupid.
His profile seemed completely normal - full of friends, wall posts, pictures, and the like.
There was only one tiny glitch in my plan for my perfect future.
As I glanced over the information at the top of his home page, a heart shaped icon caught my eye.
My future husband...was engaged.
Son of a bitch.
Blake responded quickly, still clearly tentative about believing the absurdities he was reading. He questioned everything - asking for names, phone numbers, internet links. He asked me to give him a rundown of the story (again!?), and I obliged, understanding he was walking into this for the very first time, and was certainly just as confused and bewildered as I'd been as the tale was unfolding. I grew frustrated with the never ending interrogation, but patiently answered question after I'm-about-to-lose-it question. I had to admit how I'd found Blake in the first place, revealing my unbelievable creepy ability to stalk out just about anyone on Facebook, and probably nearly destroying my chance of ever talking to this man again, but I couldn't let him walk away NOT believing this was real. I laboriously waded through the murky details of how I found Tucker, how he was connected to Hannah, how I knew Hannah was connected to Blake, and how on earth I ever stumbled across her in the first place. It was almost painstaking to rehash every single detail of the story, but question by question I responded as best I could, determined to make Blake a believer.
Blake and I went back and forth via Facebook messages for about an hour - he'd ask questions, I'd give answers. I was beginning to think he'd never believe me - and who could blame him? Suddenly, a phone number appeared in my inbox, with an invitation to give him a call. I wasn't sure what I'd said to finally convince him I was being truthful, but there it was.
You'd think, by now, I'd be fairly used to dialing up a complete stranger and talking to them about this story. I'd done it with Megan, with Tucker, and even with Hannah - why should Blake be any different? I was unexplainably paralyzed - I couldn't get my brain and my fingers to coordinate and press "call" button. I felt that all-too-familiar stomach drop go into effect as I stared at the ten digits before me. What would I say to him? I'd already explained the ENTIRE story in greuling detail - what else did we have left to discuss? Should I tell him about the blog that I'd already started to write? Would he be furious that, on top of the fact that his face was all over the interwebs already, I was writing about it and airing my (/our) dirty laundry to the entire cyber universe? Would he simply ask for some more details to satisfy his curiosity, then never speak to me again? My brain was racked with questions and hesitations - and I knew they all boiled down to one thing.
The moment I found out Hannah was..well..Hannah, one of my first initial thoughts was that my dream man was suddenly thrust back into the realm of possibility. While I didn't know exactly how much of the profile that had caught my attention was true, I now knew "Tucker" (/Blake) existed somewhere, and he wasn't a goddamn lunatic. Now, as I sat in my car unable to press "send", I stared at the phone number in front of me and realized why I was so unable to function. For the first time, I would hear Tucker's voice. I would speak to him, voice-to-voice, not in a text message or Facebook chat, but as close to "in person" as I'd ever been. I was about to have a verbal conversation with the person I, on whatever level, fell head over heels for all those weeks ago. This number was my DaVinci Code that I'd worked so hard and so long to find. I never expected this would be the outcome when I sent that OkCupid message so long ago, and it terrified me to break through the very barrier that told me something was very wrong from the beginning.
A whole new slew of questions erupted in my mind as I sat there, trying to work up the courage to call Blake. How would I feel when I heard his voice? Would he think I was crazy, weird, or stupid because of my role in this whole process? Would he want to know me, after all of this? Would he be on my side, or would he defend Hannah like Tucker seemed to? Would he be angry, confused, scared, or some weird hybrid like I had been? Would he blame me, and be angry with me for putting him in the midst of this situation?
I sat there, shivering, giving myself a pep talk and rallying by myself in the car. I could do this - I just needed to leave my emotions at home, and go into this 100% business. I needed to tell Blake the details, and leave it at that. I needed to be there to answer his questions, to talk to him through all the confusion, and to help him however he decided to proceed. I needed to be purely objective, a resource, a teammate. I picked up my phone, and pressed the green button, then waited anxiously as the ringing purred in my ear.
When Blake answered the phone, my heart stopped beating. Only for a moment, sure - but it stopped. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel that rush of emotion coming back, even though I'd been so determined to leave it behind. I'm certain I sounded like a bumbling fool for the first few minutes of our chat, and to be honest, I can't even remember what was said. From what I remember of this conversation, it consisted mainly of the same disbelief that was shared between myself and Megan, and Tucker as well. It was the same rehashing of events, swapping "oh my gods" and "you've got to be kiddings", and trying to figure out exactly what to do next.
The thing I remember most about this conversation, was how quickly I felt entirely at ease talking to Blake. He listened patiently, asked questions, and shared in my conglomeration of feelings toward Hannah and the situation as a whole. He offered a very different perspective, sharing that he'd only met Hannah a few times - certainly NOT the "big brother" and "close family friend" she'd portrayed him to be. He was close to her sister and brother in law, and seemed to be absolutely blindsided by the situation. I felt for him. For the first time, I forgot how hurt I'd been by the situation, and felt utterly horrible for Blake's unbeknownst role in this unfolding tale. I realized that, while I'd been lied to for a few months, Blake had been paraded around as a dreamboat, perfect man, to who knows how many people across the country. I couldn't imagine the feelings he was experiencing, and immediately knew every second I agonized over trying to find him was worth it. He needed to know this was happening - he needed to be able to stop it - he was the only person that had the power to do so.
Our conversation lasted about fifteen minutes, and we both went our separate ways to further mull over the words we'd just exchanged. I felt relieved - so glad I'd finally been able to share the story with the one person who most needed to be aware of the situation. I felt anxious - eagerly anticipating Blake's next move, and curious as to exactly how he would choose to handle the situation. Perhaps most strangely, though, I felt empty. Now, finally, Tucker was over. He was gone. It was done. I'd spent two months searching, digging, and investigating. What was there left to do now? I had come to the end of my part of this journey - the rest was in the hands of someone I barely knew. Aside from offering descriptions to whomever Blake decided to talk to, my role here was finished. I also felt like I'd said goodbye to someone very important in my life.
I can't describe the feelings I had about Blake that day. I was relieved that he was sweet, light hearted, and calm about the situation. I was so glad he believed my story, and seemed willing to do whatever it took to make sure it didn't happen again, and that Hannah was confronted for what she did. He was easy to talk to, made me laugh in light of a terrible situation, and was genuinely grateful for my amateur CSI work in solving this mystery and tracking him down. I still was unsure what came next - would I ever hear from him again? Was the situation far too strange to allow a relationship to ever blossom with my perfect stranger?
I got home that night, and decided to try my hand at a Facebook friendship with Blake again, ya know, now that he knew I wasn't a raging psychopath trying to infiltrate his Facebook page with porn viruses. It didn't take him long to accept my friend request this time. Of course, immediately upon receiving the notification, I made a beeline for his profile to fully get my stalk on.
I was, per usual these days, that too-familiar blend of nervous, excited, and on the verge of throwing up as I ventured to my future husband's page.
That sweet, crooked smile grinned at me from his profile picture, and I felt those butterflies rushing back - the same butterflies I'd felt when I first saw that smile on OkCupid.
His profile seemed completely normal - full of friends, wall posts, pictures, and the like.
There was only one tiny glitch in my plan for my perfect future.
As I glanced over the information at the top of his home page, a heart shaped icon caught my eye.
My future husband...was engaged.
Son of a bitch.
2 comments:
Noooo! Are you kidding me! This is NOT happening! I am all for a ninja mission to Rome, Ga to make the fiance disappear.
Noooooooo!!!! I'm with De Anna!
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