The day I decided to Googlestalk Tucker Evans was the first day of the rest of my life. Not really, but it did kick start the wild internet goose chase that you're all now so emotionally involved in. Speaking of, to the half a dozen people who stopped me at the bar last night to complain about a lack of post -- you guys are so legit. The wheels really start turning in this post, so I'm considering myself redeemed already.
I can still vividly remember the moment when Google introduced me to William Tucker Evans. I don't know exactly what I expected to find when I searched for his name, but it certainly wasn't this. Perhaps I expected photos of his college baseball days at Auburn. Perhaps an old work profile or a news article about a college achievement. I suppose I did have a decent amount of suspicion toward him, after our weeks of texting but mysterious lack of phone calls and in-person encounters. Perhaps I expected to find a crazy secret buried in cyber space - a criminal record, a failed marriage, a child. There were any number of things I expected to find about Tucker that would clue me in to why he was being so distant. I expected to find an answer to why he was so carefully protecting his privacy, but instead I was broadsided by a barrage of tell-all articles and photos of a person I certainly did not know.
William Tucker Evans is a twenty two year old Marine from Rome, Georgia. While he also goes by "Tucker", for the sake of avoiding confusion, I'll refer to him as William from here on out. William = Marine, Tucker = future husband. With me? I read article after article about William and his service with the United States Marine Corps. He had served in Afghanistan where, recently, he had been hit by an IED while on a tour there. The hundreds of forum posts, Facebook groups, and news articles indicated that William would be returning to the United States (or, HAD returned - the articles were about a week old), and receiving a Purple Heart for his bravery during his service. There were welcome home parties, parades, and other celebratory events planned to welcome William back to his hometown. Prayer chains, support groups, and a small Georgia community had been rallying together, praying for William and creating quite the online presence following his injuries. It didn't take long to feel like I, too, was invested in the life of this young soldier - the love and support was practically tangible.
As I read each article, post, and comment regarding William's situation, I became more and more confused. Was this the person I had been talking to all along? It seemed fairly clear - a lonely soldier spent some downtime overseas hoping to find a woman "back home" to talk to, and love. I'd run across Military men online before, usually explaining that they were serving overseas, and missed having someone to write home to. It wasn't unusual that William might be searching for the same thing - someone who was thinking about him, who cared about him, and who would eventually be waiting for him when he finally returned home. This, in and of itself, didn't bother me. I entirely understand the position of men like this, and don't blame them for looking for that special connection to ease the hurt of being so far away from home and the people they love.
What I couldn't understand, is why did William feel the need to create this fake persona online? Why couldn't he, like so many of his Military brothers, be honest about his current situation? Why not be proud of your dedication to serving your country?
Again, the battle of emotions started to take over. I was angry, first. Angry that I'd been blatantly lied to about the identity of a person I cared about. I was hurt, also that I'd been duped. I felt stupid that I somehow couldn't predict that this perfect man was nothing but a made up profile to help a lonely guy make a new friend. I was confused about the whole situation, frustrated that I let it even get to this point, and in a strange way, felt like I'd just been dumped. What?? Get ahold of yourself, Kay. Seriously.
I began to process my new discovery, and debated about what to do next. Do I tell Tucker I know about his real identity? Do I give him a chance to explain himself? Do I completely cut him off and move on, just leaving the situation as it was and cutting my losses? Do I continue to talk to him, but talk to him as William - is he even someone I want to know after all the deceit? SO many choices, but nothing seemed right.
I scaled back on my conversations with Tucker for a few days, struggling to decide how to handle the situation. I'm certain he could tell that I was different - I wasn't the permasmiley, cheerleader level annoyingly peppy girl he was used to talking to day in and day out. A few days later, I decided to re-investigate the situation. I wanted to know everything I could about William, the REAL Tucker, before I decided on a next move. I revisited all the articles I'd frantically read days before, hoping to feel some sort of divine intervention in the form of an urge to either forge ahead or let him disappear from my life forever. Suddenly, amidst a local newspaper article, I have a startling revelation.
The timeline of this story suddenly stands out like a flashing neon sign right in front of me. I was, without a doubt, NOT talking William Tucker Evans, the Marine from Georgia. William had only JUST returned to the United States, after weeks and weeks of recovering in foreign hospitals. When he returned to America, he was in a hospital in Atlanta, for more surgery and recovery. There is not a snowball's chance in hell that this kid had the luxury of a laptop with WiFi in his Afghani hospital, let alone the time, or desire, to be chatting up babes online all day. He certainly wouldn't have been texting me from overseas, or even in his hospital bed in Atlanta, all day every day. My mind is absolutely reeling, realizing with increasing clarity that it is nearly 100% impossible that I was talking to the "real" Tucker.
A whole new slew of questions arises. If I'm not talking to this Marine, who the hell AM I talking to? Have I overreacted this entire time, and it's possible that there are simply two William Tucker Evans? Stranger things have happened, and while it's entirely unlikely, it's plausible that these two men simply have the same name. If that's the case, how do I explain or rationalize Tucker's avoidance of the phone and a meeting? If it's not true, who on Earth is this person I've been talking to all along?
I pull away from my computer, staring at my screen in complete and utter confusion and disbelief. Every sane, rational ounce of judgment in me (which, okay, isn't much, let's be real) says to just walk away. Delete Tucker from Facebook, block him from viewing my OkCupid profile, and block his phone number. Walk away, let bygones be bygones and all that other cliche crap. Clearly something is not right in this situation, and I'll be better off just closing the door on this chapter of my life before I risk getting hurt. However, the CSI addict in me says not a fucking chance. Then and there I vow to get my Horatio Caine on and solve the shit out of this mystery. I will get to the bottom of this. I will find out who Tucker Evans is, and why he's being so slow to speak to me or meet me. I will end this thing, once and for all, if it's the last thing I do.
Major Players:
William: The "real" Tucker. A 22 year old Marine in GA.
Tucker: my currently in the doghouse future husband.
Kay: yours truly.
Important Discoveries:
- Tucker's real name, as he told it to me: William Tucker Evans
- Google search results for that name, yielding hundreds of results about William
- Continued refusal to talk on the phone or meet in person
- A timeline that doesn't match up to me communicating with William the whole time
- A Facebook support group dedicated to William's return home, recovery, and updates - created and maintained by his mother
Post 4 to come later today - stop by for a minute, won't you?
Cheers,
Kay
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