Tucker #10: Who Are You?

Everyone PLEASE watch this video and laugh your asses off at Keith Moon. Notice his headphones DUCT TAPED to his head. God bless The Who.


When I left you last, I'd sort of dropped a bomb on you. Sorry about that. Also sorry for being MIA the last few days - I had the pleasure of recording an interview with one of my favorite podcasts, "A Little Off Topic", and had to be careful about how far ahead in the story I went. Now that the interview's live, I'm back to further draw out the story and annoy the piss out of you. Oh, but speaking of that interview, click here to listen to it...and snag a secret or two only revealed on the podcast!


Where were we?

Ah, yeah. Still not at the end...but would you expect any less?



When William told me he'd found the Facebook page of our culprit, I was nervous, excited, scared, and anxious, all at the same time. I couldn't wait to find out who had been stringing me along all these weeks, but at the same time I was, in a strange way, sad to see this come to an end. Perhaps "sad" isn't the appropriate term. It's difficult to explain, but the Tucker saga had become so much a part of my life, it was going be strange to finally lay it to rest, for better or for worse.


As I stared at the face of the person behind Tucker, I no longer knew what to think. The person I was looking at was NOT the man in the photos from the dating profile or the Facebook page. The person I was looking at was another person entirely - this was not simply the case of a changed first name. There wasn't much information for me to go on, as the profile seemed pretty bare. Even William, who could view the Facebook page in its entirety, wasn't able to pull any significant clues about the identity of our perp, or the reasons behind the stolen name AND photos.


So many questions arose.

Who is this person?
How do they know William?
Why William's name?
Who is the man in the photos on the dating profile?
How much of the dating profile is true?
Why did this all begin?
How can the extensive Facebook page be explained? 4+ years of history?
Why does William's profile picture appear as two of this freak's profile pics?


I started to piece together my own assumptions for the answers to these plaguing questions. Whoever this is, clearly knows William and/or his family. The man in the photos MUST be a friend, family member, or some other close personal connection - nothing else would explain the readily available plethora of photos so easily claimed as his own. I still couldn't explain the history of the Facebook page. Did this man abandon his page, for whatever reason (new job, got rid of FB, bad breakup, who knows), and our imposter somehow accessed this old page, revived it, and carried on as though it was their own? None of it made sense. There were far too many loose ends and unexplainable aspects for me to fully believe that we'd found the person behind the crime. It seemed as though this new discovery was only a stepping stone to the real truth - I certainly wasn't satisfied with this ending.


I went back to discussing the discovery with William. He promised to make some phone calls, do some digging, and find out just how he and "Tucker" were connected. It didn't take long for my phone to ring with yet another breaking news announcement from my Georgian counterpart. As it turns out, Tucker and William were, indeed, connected - closer than William had imagined. Tucker has a niece - a 16 year old girl living in the same hometown. As luck would have it, that niece was, and had been for some time, dating William's younger brother. Suddenly, worlds were colliding, and small world syndrome was in full effect somewhere in North Georgia.


William is floored by this strange connection to Tucker, while I'm still in Grand Rapids completely dumbfounded at how it was even possible to be more mindfucked than I'd already been. Tucker knows William. Tucker's NIECE IS DATING WILLIAM'S BROTHER. This isn't a random act, it was premeditated, and William's name was taken very intentionally. Why? I just don't get it. I can't process the information I'm receiving, because it just does NOT make any sense. Why William? AND WHO THE HELL IS THE MAN IN THE PHOTOS?


My phone starts buzzing uncontrollably as I sit, perpetually perplexed at the whole scope of this wild tale, and I look down to see what could POSSIBLY be happening now.


It's Tucker.

Not William...but Tucker.


I open my phone and stare at the words in front of me. A rambling confession/apology hybrid the likes of which I'd never seen. It was as if someone turned on the I Fucked Up faucet and words were gushing out at light speed. Half of the "sentences", if you could even call them that, didn't make any sense. It was one long winded run-on sentence of "I'm so sorry's" and "I hate myselfs". One after another, the texts rolled in, proclaiming stupidity and begging for forgiveness. I was too livid to even respond, surprised that at the audacity of this coward to even think forgiveness was deserved. I shook as I struggled to formulate a proper response in my head. I re-read the message, hoping I'd find the words to say to confront the person who'd hurt me so terribly over the last month.


"Hey Kayleigh. I know right now I have a whole lot to say to you. I wanna apologize to you for the awful horrible thing I have done. I know I did more bad than good bc I put you through living hell. I know how completely fucking stupid I was to do such a thing. I am a complete wreck bc I am a fucking idiot for what I did and I mean a fucking idiot but idk what I thought the reason of it was. I was fucking stupid, that's not shit you play with and I understand that clearly now bc obviously I didn't before. I hope you understand how terribly awful I feel about all this. What was the point of it, god if I know. If my family knew about this, I'd be afraid and ashamed to look at them anymore bc I know what a horrible thing I did. I pray to god that I can have your forgiveness and I be left alone about this bc I know what I did and I want to fix it. I got to good of a life ahead of me to fuck it up with stupid shit like that when it was for totally fucking bullshit for me to do in the first place."


The only thing I can muster up:

"You're right, it is total bullshit. Please explain the lengthy Facebook history - that doesn't make sense. It was clearly not a thrown together fake page, there were years worth of photos and wall posts...no way that was all made up. How did you do it? And the ex-girlfriends? How do you explain that. An apology is a start, but I need an explanation, and I need it now."


"I can't. There is no explanation. This shit happened and I got caught up in it and I'm done. I have no explanations, I wish I did but I don't. I made horrible mistakes and I know what I've done but there's no way I can explain that to you. All this shit is completely fucked up. I'm a complete idiot and all I'm trying to do is apologize and move on from all this especially by doing better bc I have a good life in front of me and I really don't want to fuck that up. So please, I hope you can forgive me. Let me move on with my life by doing better and being happy. I'm tired of being chased with all these questions because I have no answers. I wish there was something I could do to take it all back but there isn't. I'm sorry."



...scuse me what? YOU want to move on and be happy? YOU have a good life ahead of you that I should so gracious as to not mess up? YOU'RE tired of being chased with questions? What do you mean you have no answers, no explanation? You're the psychopath behind all of this - you're the ONLY person who has the answers.

(Mind you, I'm wandering through JoAnn Fabric with Jamie while this is happening, sweating my ass off in a down winter coat, even though it's frigid outside. I feel like I might throw up and my palms are sweaty and I'm pretty sure the rest of the Saturday morning customers think I may go crazy and shoot up the place because I look like a damn lunatic.)


Now I'm pissed. I respond.

"Unless you want authorities involved, you WILL deal with the questions. You realize impersonating a member of the United States Military is a federal offense, right? Start talking. Who is the man in the photos? Explain the four years worth of photos and wall posts. Explain the ex-girlfriends. Explain all of it, ALL OF IT, or I will involve police and I would NOT test me on this."


Okay, so, I probably wouldn't actually contact the police, because let's get real, "I got lied to on the internet" is not exactly grounds for a supreme court trial. However, I needed to stand my ground, make it clear that I was NOT just going away because Tucker apologized and begged forgiveness. I was going to get those answers, no matter how long I had to BS to get them.


"I know the guy in the photos personally, he is a close family friend. Yes I've done this before, but have gotten myself out of it bc I knew it was wrong. Then for some stupid reason I would do it again, but this time I wasn't as lucky (editor's note: by this, he means he never dealt with a professional internet stalker like me. SUCKAAA!!!) Do I think this is funny, no. Do I feel like shit about it, yes. I want to move on, I'm through with it. I know William personally, his brother is like part of our family. I'm so sorry, I just want this to stop."



Yeah. Me too.


This is the part where I go home, light candles, lock myself in the bathroom and sink into my giantamazingwhirpooltub. I can't think about this anymore. My brain hurts, almost worse than my heart does, and I need to mentally check out for an hour before I have a serious meltdown.

As I lay there soaking, I can't stop my mind from drifting back to Tucker. How had I been so incredibly stupid? How did I not see this coming - was I so blinded by my excitement over discovering my dream man that I didn't notice the fact that he was completely and utterly playing me for a fool? Or was he that convincing, that good at manipulation and deceit that I simply fell prey to the wiles of his ways? I just couldn't get over the Facebook thing - how on EARTH was this thorough profile even possible? Was it a possibility that this had actually been going on for as long as the profile existed? Had Tucker been masquerading around online for nearly four years, and all the relationships established on his page were purely online? This couldn't be, could it? Would a seemingly normal college student (Taylor), become wholely committed to a person she'd never met or spoke to? I couldn't fathom it, but again, I couldn't fathom any part of this situation.


I was still determined to get to the bottom of this, even after the confession was laid out in front of me. There were still secrets, still lies - I couldn't fully move on and close the door on this impossible situation without having all my questions answered. Even then, perhaps, I couldn't walk away - but I didn't stand a chance without it.

There was still one very, very important piece of the puzzle that was missing. Even if Tucker explained to me the history of the Facebook page, why this even started in the first place, why Grand Rapids if he was in Georgia, why me, why the two men whose identities were stolen...even if all those things were finally explained in full, there was one thing I couldn't let go of. The man in the pictures - who was he? And if he wasn't a crazy psychopathic liar, then did I still have a chance at nabbing my perfect man? If he was out there, somewhere, there was still a chance I could find him. Maybe he wasn't all of the things that "Tucker" was, on paper...but maybe, just maybe - he was.


I changed my tune in my responses to Tucker - shifting from accusatory and angry to understanding and calm. I offered forgiveness, admitting that I'd made mistakes too, albeit none of which involved impersonating two dudes on the internet - but still, I acknowledged that good people made mistakes. Once I did, the communication started flowing. Conversation came more easily, and explanations started to materialize. I had Tucker right where I wanted him, and I was ready to make my next move. Carefully selecting my words, I crafted a plea for the name of this handsome identity theft victim. I wanted to know him - I NEEDED to know him. I typed my request cautiously, addressing my definitely-not-Tucker, uncovered and outed perpetrator for the first time ever by his real name.






"I need to know who the person in the photos is. All the hell you've put me through, I think I deserve to know the person I thought I'd fallen for all this time."







"I can't tell you his name. I need to apologize to him first. I need to be the one to tell him what happened, its only right. Once I tell him, I will tell you."







"That's not enough. I need to talk to him, and I can't wait for you to find the courage to speak up about what you did. What is his name?"







"I promise to tell you. Just not yet, let me talk to him in person first. I can't let him find out from anyone else or he will never talk to me again."























"Please, I'm begging you. Hannah, I have to know."